if i knew all the
letters, i could spell my name. (jason mraz, 0% talent)
i'm lamer than my fans give me credit for (john mayer, lamer than my
fans)
i bare my windowed self, untamed and untalented . . . (jason mraz)
don't try to tune my guitar, i'm tone deaf (evanescence, goodbye)
see, you and me have a better time when the radio is off (DuMB, the
best
of what's around)
another whole
box of
pandora's
There's something in the
way you sing that makes me feel ill, your lyrics
confuse me, you and your thesis abuse my brain . . . after an
afternoon
with you my ears bleed red (jason mraz, after an afternoon of bad
music)
Your music weighs on me as heavy as stone . . . I was just wondering
if
you'd come along to hold up my hair in the bathroom after I listen to
your
album . . . I'll do the same if the same's what you want . . . (DuMB,
the
stoner)
i saw a bald eagle sitting by the side of the road on my trip back yesterday!
and today i'm hosting the Carnival of Recipes!
we will start off dinner by drinking something good, so come on, be a winner, try this:
fill a glass up to the top with ice, then pour in a slightly chilled diet coke--let the ice melt for about 15 minutes, then enjoy! by the time you get to the bottom, all the ice should have melted into the diet coke--yummy!
now, the main course: Bald Eagle Fricassee
close all the curtains in your house--check for mysterious vans parked in street
pluck and gut bald eagle and save head and talons for garnishment
place eagle breast up on a flat rack in a shallow pan, 2 to 2-1/2 inches deep.
brush skin with oil to enhance moistness and golden color.
insert oven-safe meat thermometer
place in a preheated 325°F oven.
Net Weight (in pounds) Cook for (in hours)
10 pto 18 3-3/4 to 4-1/2
18 to 22 4-1/2 to 5
22 to 24 5 to 5-1/2
24 to 30 5-1/2 to 6-1/4
when you're done, bury remains in woods out of sight of game wardens
if captured, claim you're a native american engaged in an ancient ritual--enjoy!
"i'll never let the door hit
your behind on the way out" Mayer, Your Body is a Sweat Gland
"fist to face . . . mace to eyes . . . baton to head . . . chest to ground
. . . you're under arrest punk." Mraz, After an Afternoon of Protesting
"well i've heard a thousand things come out of your face, but i stopped
listening when i needed some space" Mraz, 1000 Things Said Is 993 Too Many
"i'd rather starve than eat your mystery meat" Mayer, My Stupid Songs
"i know you're a mime mime mime, but you do it so badly it bores ofttimes"
Mayer, Your Body Has Gotten Out of Hand
"unfortunately you will diss me and i'll diss you back" Mraz, 1000 Things
Better Left Unsaid
"get me to an emergency room! baby you, you've got my only heart!" Mayer,
Open Heart Surgery
"i'm absolutely definite absolutely positive absolutely definitely
positively redundant." Mraz, Did I Fool Ya Into Buying This Blech?
"there's something in the way you laugh that makes my ears bleed" Mraz,
After an Afternoon With You My Ears Bleed
"you can be glad in the morning, i'll sneak out the back, and leave you
alone here. i'm ice cold baby." Mayer, Music Retread
"i'm sleeping to dream about your twin sister, i'm so tired of having to
live with your nagging." Mraz, Sleeping to Dream of Another
"i can't survive on the breath you are finished with--too much CO2" Mayer,
Come Back With My Scuba Gear
"i called because I just need to hear myself on the line." Mayer, Split
Pesonality Madness
a long-awaited
end
face in palm ... tear to
tear ... fingers in ears ... heart to ground ...
i am in love with myself ... (jason mraz, after an afternoon of bad
music)
there's no place to hide from our music (nickel creek, this side of
hades)
how wonderful life is while I'm asleep (elton john, your song)
you're sour as crab apples, you must not be the one. (chantal
kreviazuk,
crab apples)
Don't you remember? We built
this city . . . we built this city on rock an' roll . . .
Clowns never laughed before, beanstalks never grew. Ponies never ran
before. 'Till I met you.
All right stop collaborate and listen I'm back with my brand new
invention
Something grabs a hold of me tightly Flow like a harpoon daily and
nightly
Will it ever stop yo I don't know
My lovely horse, running through the field, Where are you going, with
your
fetlocks blowing in the wind? I want to shower you with sugar lumps,
and
ride you over fences. Polish your hooves every single day, and bring
you
to the horse dentist. My lovely horse, you're a pony no more. Running
around with a man on your back, like a train in the night, like a
train in
the niiigghhtttt. . .
Get My Lovely Horse
Here
