if i knew all the
letters, i could spell my name. (jason mraz, 0% talent)
i'm lamer than my fans give me credit for (john mayer, lamer than my
fans)
i bare my windowed self, untamed and untalented . . . (jason mraz)
don't try to tune my guitar, i'm tone deaf (evanescence, goodbye)
see, you and me have a better time when the radio is off (DuMB, the
best
of what's around)
another whole
box of
pandora's
There's something in the
way you sing that makes me feel ill, your lyrics
confuse me, you and your thesis abuse my brain . . . after an
afternoon
with you my ears bleed red (jason mraz, after an afternoon of bad
music)
Your music weighs on me as heavy as stone . . . I was just wondering
if
you'd come along to hold up my hair in the bathroom after I listen to
your
album . . . I'll do the same if the same's what you want . . . (DuMB,
the
stoner)
this one makes fun of the alias pilot, where sidney SOMEHOW brings that device into the u.s. via commercial airline--totally unbelievable--i can only suspend disbelief so far--that is actually the orlando airport in the background--i use authentic pics where i can--the perspective on that x-ray machine is really screwed up--its harder to find source pics of xray machines than you might think
this one is technically good--a lot of the various tricks i've picked up on are used in this one--i don't know that it is especially funny, but it looks darn good--i also dont' know if you can even get grease that hot--i should have checked on the proper temperature for cooking fries
this one looks bad, but appeals to me--this dog was in the peace gallery, which i took apart piece by piece in a post--i don't think the imao people really got it, but then again, many of them are humorless prats who aren't happy unless they are tongue shining frank's boots
what can i say--u love it or hate it--i love it
i love the norman rockwell-ish look of this one--this is from an old gov't poster
the 'stache
who isn't terrified of creatures sneaking in through the drain pipe? this is a classic example of me imagining something in a photo that isn't there--who knows where it comes from
my favorite part of this is the longhorns in the texas restroom stall
frank getting kicked in the family jewels--great
this one was floating around in my head for about 8 months--i finally got around to making it--i like the "metroplex bail bonds" sponsor--very "bad news bears"
i love the title of this album (which i made up)--it is so cheesey and inspired--no one else seems to appreciate it as much as do--but what do they know anyway?
i guess you have to be at least in your 30s to remember when dwarf throwing was all the rage--in this PC day, you can't get away with stuff like this
a cat holding a gun--a surreal thought that popped into my head the moment i saw this pic
and now the top ten!
10. this is SO OBVIOUS--but the dead animals make it work, the joke being, in attempting to hit the broadside of a barn, she misses badly and kills off the barnyard creatures
9.
i suppose a group of people at dinner automatically calls to mind the last supper painting, which was the inspiration for showing sarah with all these nerdy engineers--the abacus was one of those small details that just kind of comes out of nowhere--my brain must be wired funny
8. frank and his "bling bling"--the scrappleface hat is my favorite part--sidnei has a tear tatoo, signifying that she has killed someone--i think frank may have a gold tooth, but in the process of shrinking it the detail was lost
7. for the life of me, i don't know where this one came from
6. this is so disturbing--sometimes i look at a picture and see something bizarre in my mind, and sometimes i think of an idea first and piece it togther--i prefer the former method--the fact that frank often appears on mm in various stages of undress frightens me too
5. every time i look at this photo i swear i can smell cigarette smoke and booze, and hear some frank sinatra playing on a jukebox in the far off background, specifically . . .
It's quarter to three, There's no one in the place 'cept you and me So set 'em' up joe I got a little story I think you oughtta know
We're drinking my friend To the end of a brief episode So make it one for my baby And one more for the road
4. sometimes i come across odd pics, don't have any immediate use for them, but save them into a "source pic file"--i think i had this pic of a highlander dancer saved for a few months before i thought of a good use for it--i don't recognize that pic of sarah--it almost looks like wonkette!--there are probably 5 photos of her i typically use, mostly because there aren't that many of good enough quality available, and that isn't one of them
3. bebe as a world war i ace--how can you go wrong with that?
2. this one got a huge response--the whole idea of the astrodome appealed greatly to me--it makes me think of jet packs and evil knieval and wide world of sports and howard cosell--i think the whole risawn v. sarah thing came out of a post that sarah did about the "not sorry pic" -- i'll be revisiting this subject again in the future--i've had the third chapter in that battle in my head for at least 6 months, but have never gotten around to making it--scrappleface as the sponsor is my favorite part
1. i must be a sadist--the idea of a cat, who doesn't want to be in a vehicle in the first place, getting involved in an automotive mishap, is just plain funny -- that isn't actually bebe--it is a white cat, and i just added in her markings--so in a sense, it really is a stunt double
"i'll never let the door hit
your behind on the way out" Mayer, Your Body is a Sweat Gland
"fist to face . . . mace to eyes . . . baton to head . . . chest to ground
. . . you're under arrest punk." Mraz, After an Afternoon of Protesting
"well i've heard a thousand things come out of your face, but i stopped
listening when i needed some space" Mraz, 1000 Things Said Is 993 Too Many
"i'd rather starve than eat your mystery meat" Mayer, My Stupid Songs
"i know you're a mime mime mime, but you do it so badly it bores ofttimes"
Mayer, Your Body Has Gotten Out of Hand
"unfortunately you will diss me and i'll diss you back" Mraz, 1000 Things
Better Left Unsaid
"get me to an emergency room! baby you, you've got my only heart!" Mayer,
Open Heart Surgery
"i'm absolutely definite absolutely positive absolutely definitely
positively redundant." Mraz, Did I Fool Ya Into Buying This Blech?
"there's something in the way you laugh that makes my ears bleed" Mraz,
After an Afternoon With You My Ears Bleed
"you can be glad in the morning, i'll sneak out the back, and leave you
alone here. i'm ice cold baby." Mayer, Music Retread
"i'm sleeping to dream about your twin sister, i'm so tired of having to
live with your nagging." Mraz, Sleeping to Dream of Another
"i can't survive on the breath you are finished with--too much CO2" Mayer,
Come Back With My Scuba Gear
"i called because I just need to hear myself on the line." Mayer, Split
Pesonality Madness
a long-awaited
end
face in palm ... tear to
tear ... fingers in ears ... heart to ground ...
i am in love with myself ... (jason mraz, after an afternoon of bad
music)
there's no place to hide from our music (nickel creek, this side of
hades)
how wonderful life is while I'm asleep (elton john, your song)
you're sour as crab apples, you must not be the one. (chantal
kreviazuk,
crab apples)
Don't you remember? We built
this city . . . we built this city on rock an' roll . . .
Clowns never laughed before, beanstalks never grew. Ponies never ran
before. 'Till I met you.
All right stop collaborate and listen I'm back with my brand new
invention
Something grabs a hold of me tightly Flow like a harpoon daily and
nightly
Will it ever stop yo I don't know
My lovely horse, running through the field, Where are you going, with
your
fetlocks blowing in the wind? I want to shower you with sugar lumps,
and
ride you over fences. Polish your hooves every single day, and bring
you
to the horse dentist. My lovely horse, you're a pony no more. Running
around with a man on your back, like a train in the night, like a
train in
the niiigghhtttt. . .
Get My Lovely Horse
Here
